“You Are So Undead” & Kaniehtiio Horn

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Erin Agostino and Meaghan Rath in You Are So Dead (2010)

I am, like, obsessed with short films. Luckily, this blog is dedicated to my obsessions. You Are So Undead (2010) is “a teen vampire sex comedy” in which a 16-year-old girl is turned into a vampire after “going all the way” with her boyfriend. The Canadian short, funded by Bravo!FACT, was directed by Alex Epstein, written by Lisa Hunter, and stars Meaghan Rath, Erin Agostino, Éléonore Lamothe, Kaniehtiio Horn, and Christina Broccolini. Watch this very cool film here …

“Please don’t be dead! I’m already so grounded!”

So, You Are So Undead uses becoming a vampire as a metaphor for losing your virginity like the film Ginger Snaps (2000) uses becoming a werewolf as a metaphor for going through puberty. The concept is funny, but, this film adds a great punchline as a bonus. “Oh my God! I’m a …” Jo (Erin Agostino) gasps, on finding that she has no reflection after Mary Margaret (Meaghan Rath) bit her on the neck at adoring Jo’s request, “… lesbian!” That humorous twist is exactly what I was going for in Dead Wrong [my teens vs zombies “screenplay” that I wrote for my own pleasure] when cheerleader Ashley is more shocked to learn that Japanese exchange student Maki actually speaks English than by that fact that Maki just killed Ashley’s ex-boyfriend Kyle by severing his head with her samurai sword after he was bitten by a zombie. “He would have become one of them,” Maki defends. “Oh my God! She …” Ashley gasps, seemingly horrified by Maki’s actions, as she glances at slacker Jesse, “… fucking speaks English!”

Meaghan Rath starred as an aspiring young tennis player in the YTV series 15/Love (2004-06); but, is best known, in the US, for her role as Sally Malik, the ghost who haunts the house that vampire Aidan Waite (Sam Witwer) and werewolf Josh Levison (Sam Huntington) rent while trying to live normal lives on SyFy’s supernatural drama Being Human (2011-14). The series was a remake of the BBC series of the same name (2008-13).

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Meaghan Rath in You Are So Dead (2010)

Meaghan Rath in Being Human (2011-14)

Erin Agostino, who is adorable in You Are So Undead, appeared in The Howling: Reborn (2011) [aka The Howling VIII] with Lindsey Shaw, Landon Liboiron and Ivana MiličevićThe Howling: Reborn has nothing to do with the other movies in the series and it’s not a great werewolf movie by itself; however, the film does have the always lovely Lindsey Shaw in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform fighting werewolves, and, for me, that’s enough. Watch the trailer here …

Lindsey Shaw makes everything she’s in just a little better even when it’s good already, like ABC Family’s 10 Things I Hate About You (2009-10) and Pretty Little Liars (2011-present). Anyway …

Kaniehtiio Horn, who plays Chelsea [“I could make him happy! I love to make sad boys happy!”] in You Are So Undead, is a Mohawk actress who is a native of the Kahnawake reserve near Montreal. Her mother is Mohawk, but, her father is Scottish/German. The very beautiful actress starred in the CBC sitcom 18 To Life (2010-11) [with Erin Agostino]. She played Dorothy (from The Wizard of Oz) in the “Slumber Party” episode from the 9th season (2013-14) of The CW’s supernatural drama Supernatural (2005-present). She also plays Destiny Rumancek in the Netflix supernatural drama Hemlock Grove (2013-present) [with Landon Liboiron of The Howling: Reborn], and played Rynn in the Syfy sci-fi drama Defiance (2013-present). She appears, with Sharon Hinnendael, in Embrace of the Vampire (2013), which is a remake of the 1995 erotic horror thriller starring Alyssa Milano. Watch the trailer for the 2013 version here …

OK, I haven’t seen Embrace of the Vampire. Or any of the other credits I listed for Kaniehtiio Horn, but, now, after seeing her for the first time in You Are So Undead, I want to see her in everything else! I’ll think I’ll start, tonight, with Hemlock Grove, because I’ve been meaning to check that show out for a long time!

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Kaniehtiio Horn in Hemlock Grove

No, wait – let’s watch The Smoke Shack (2012) first!

The Smoke Shack is a charming short film written and directed Kaniehtiio Horn. It’s a sort of documentary set in a cigarette store, on Horn‘s reserve, where she, like many other Kahnawake natives, has worked for years. But, it’s really about “dealing with customers, and dealing with the art of killing time.” Watch the film here …

“Lunch or supper time is suuuper exciting … cuz you get to order food!”

Now, I’ll go watch a few episodes of Hemlock Grove, and finish this post in the morning …

OK, I’m back. Late last night, I watched the first 4 episodes of Hemlock Grove‘s 1st season, and, I’m hooked! The Netflix original series, executive produced by horror director Eli Roth [Cabin Fever (2002), Hostel (2005)], is suspenseful, kind of creepy, and full of great characters. Landon Liboiron as gypsy Peter Rumancek and Bill Skarsgård as privileged Roman Godfrey are great leads; but, I really like young Freya Tingley as lonely aspiring novelist Christina. Her best friends, Alexa (Eliana Jones) and Alyssa (Emilia McCarthy) Sworn, the twin daughters of the town’s sheriff Tom Sworn (Aaron Douglas), are adorably hysterical, too. I also love supporting characters like Kandyse McClure [who has such beautiful eyes!] as animal tracker Dr. Clementine Chasseur, Lili Taylor [who has become such a beautiful middle-aged woman!] as Peter’s mother Lynda Rumancek, and, of course, very beautiful Kaniehtiio Horn as psychic/con-artist Destiny Rumancek. She is Peter’s cousin, and she was introduced in the 3rd episode. Now, I have to go back and finish the 1st season! Watch the trailer for Hemlock Grove here …

Kaniehtiio Horn appears at the 1:10 mark, warning Peter: “Run – before it’s too late for you.”

Note: I just finished episodes 5 and 6 of Hemlock Grove. In episode 4, Peter and Roman dug up the corpse of a dead girl, and filled a Mason jar with some of her innards. In episode 5, they brought the jar to Destiny who, after letting a mealworm feed on the bloody mess over night, ingested the bloated larva to channel the spirit of the dead girl to find clues to her murder! Awesome and gross! Afterward, Destiny pukes up the worm and tells Peter, “I need to brush my teeth.” I love Kaniehtiio Horn!

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5 thoughts on ““You Are So Undead” & Kaniehtiio Horn

  1. Pingback: I Like “Hyenas” (2011). Don’t Laugh. | My Heart Explodes

  2. Pingback: You Are So Undead « Girls, Guns & Zombies!

  3. Pingback: “Trick or treat, Motherf***ers.” | My Heart Explodes

  4. Pingback: The Smoke Shack « Girls, Guns & Zombies!

  5. Pingback: No Place Like Home « Girls, Guns & Zombies!

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