Nancy in Hell (on Earth), written by El Torres with art by Enrique Lorenzana, is the awesome sequel to the excellent Nancy In Hell, created by El Torres and Juan Jose Ryp. The 4-issue sequel was published by Image Comics in 2012, and collected in trade paperback form later that same year.
In Nancy In Hell, Nancy Simmons, a former cheerleader who was wrongly cast into Hell by design, helped Lucifer, a whining crybaby who feels bad for being responsible for evil, escape to Earth to atone for his sins. However, they forgot to close the doors behind them, and, now, Hell is spilling onto Earth; and, Nancy must save the world with only her big boobs, Daisy Dukes and a badass chainsaw! Nancy In Hell (on Earth) is more glorious, guilty-pleasurable joy! But, an added bonus, in this sequel, are the covers and other promo art that are like grindhouse-inspired movie posters. Awesome!
In Chapter 1, Pytho (aka Mr. Macabre) ventures into the very heart of Hell. “Darkness, hear me!” he calls, then summarizes Nancy In Hell. “Don’t I d-d-deserve the Earthrealm?” he asks. “YES” is the reply. Meanwhile, Lucifer finds that he is powerless to stop the demons from pouring onto Earth because he and Nancy are, now, merely human. However, Nancy still has her trusty chainsaw which she uses to slice up the demons. They join a group of human survivors, including Bible-quoting cop Irving, who have taken refuge at the San Diego Convention Center, while the military is confronted by nearly naked vengeful angels who call humans “monkeys.” Best line: “You were grabbing her boobs! And they totally look like my own boobs!” Nancy tells Lucifer, after a succubus took her form and tried to seduce him. “She’s fatter than me, though,” she adds. “Cut it out, Succubitch!” Nancy quips as she slices the evil vixen in half with her chainsaw.
In Chapter 2, Nancy, Lucifer and the survivors escape the Convention Center via a school bus but are, soon, forced to take refuge at the San Diego Central Jail. Lucifer tries to save Satan-worshipping inmate Szandor and his eleven death row cons, while naked apocalyptic angels Sandalphon and Gabrielle try to convince Lucifer to help them destroy mankind. “They are wicked. They refuse the gifts given by God,” Sandalphon rationalizes. “I shall not speak with you anymore,” Lucifer tells Sandalphon, before Nancy unleashes her chainsaw upon her. However, now they must worry about being nuked. Best line #1: “She said Internet. What the fuck is the Internet?” demands Nancy (who was killed in 1985). Best line #2: “Is that an angel of the Lord?” Irving wonders upon seeing Sandalphon. “That or a naked, winged, anorexic model fluttering around here like a moth,” Nancy quips.
In Chapter 3, Mr. Macabre proposes an alliance with Nancy and Lucifer to stop the naked vengeful angels from destroying the planet. He tells them they can do so by closing Heaven’s Gate which isn’t far. Meanwhile, the angels seize the nukes and plan to combine them with an angelic weapon to “create a wall of pure energy that will grow exponentially, destroying everything in its path.” Lucifer rallies the twelve inmates to help him. However, Mr. Macabre summons Szandor and entrusts him with the primordial shiv to deal with that “blonde pussy crying all over the place.” Lucifer, Nancy, Mr. Macabre, Irving and the inmates march over to the Wyatt and a brutal, bloody battle ensues. Best lines: “Please put these on,” an inmate says, offering Lucifer a prison jumpsuit. “Your silky loincloth… makes you look gay,” he adds. “Gay?” Lucifer wonders. “Nice rags. Finally, you don’t look so…” Nancy says, upon seeing his new outfit. “I know, gay,” Lucifer says.
In Chapter 4, Lucifer has been shived by Szandor, but, Irving kills him. Lucifer is impressed by Irving‘s faith. “Faith… is not knowledge,” Irving tells him. “Yes. Now I understand,” Lucifer smiles, and, they both die. Meanwhile, Nancy kicks naked vengeful angel Gabrielle‘s ass thinking that she’ll be able to close Heaven’s door, but Mr. Macabre reveals that he only needed her to take care of Gabrielle for him. He plans to use the angelic doomsday device to destroy Heaven’s door to allow Hell to seep through, “touching the very heights of Heaven.” However, Gabrielle wakes begins fighting with Mr. Macabre; and Nancy realizes that if Mr. Macabre wins, Hell will rule Heaven and Earth, but if Gabrielle wins, Earth will be destroyed. So, she thrusts her chainsaw into the lock in Heaven’s door and, “Everything goes boom.” Well, San Diego goes boom. Lucifer finds himself in Hell with Irving to save every soul down there, while Nancy finds herself in Heaven surrounded by angry angels. “Oh. Crap,” she says. I love when single mother Samantha, infected by hellspore sprouts courtesy of Mr. Macabre, becomes a John Carpenter‘s The Thing-esque creature and devours her son Paulie, before tough cop Janet crashes the bus they’re escaping on. The thing’s spider-like head rises from the wreckage, but Janet blasts it to oblivion with a Marine’s M16 rifle.
I am so looking forward to the next volume Nancy In Heaven, but, that’s just wishful thinking. Finally, check out this awesome cover artwork for a match-up that, sadly, never happened …
Nancy Simmons, Cassie Hack, Mercy Sparx, Violet Grimm, and the Ε.Α.Ζ.Υ. sorority sisters (Paige, Brittany & Jaime) … now that’s the kind of justice league I’d buy in to! Together they can fight demons, slashers, rogue angels, and zombies! More wishful thinking!